Have you ever felt different?
Tried to fit in with others but knowing deep down that you don’t belong?
Ever since I can remember I have felt different.
Just writing this I can feel myself take a deep breath and release, finally safe in my knowing that this is a healthy and positive way of being.
In the past I haven’t always felt this way.
Ever since I can remember I felt different.
I saw fairies and angels.
Yes, I really did.
Excited about my connection with these beings I would talk about them with sheer joy, only for it to be brushed swiftly away by adults as ‘pretend’ friends.
When I was 8 years old I vividly remember staring intently into a mirror repeatedly asking the question ‘Who am I?’. I looked into the deepest depths of my soul then as a child and I knew then I was so much more than my immediate surroundings.
Nobody else understood.
So what happened?
As I grew up in the 3D matrix of life I lost my true self, little by little, by little.
Conformity, pressure and control key components in making this possible.
I lost my inner connection.
My inner critic took its place.
The inner connection that if I had of held on, would have given me the wisdom to navigate my way through life perhaps a little easier.
Instead, the inner critic fed on the feeling of being different.
It loved taking pride of place in my mind.
This morphed into a sticky journey of wading through painful experiences that continuously played out as I searched an unrelenting, unrewarding, empty playground of ‘looking for something’ ‘fit in and belong’ ‘be good enough’.
Have you ever felt like this too?
All of these emotions and feelings stifled, ignored and pushed down, more and more, festering.
Eventually, at a crossroads I was propelled back on course, where I embarked on a speed track of learning about spirituality, and also re-connected with my own healing journey.
However, this was many years later.
Why share this?
Feeling different, has many sides, a light side and a dark side with lots of shades of grey for good measure in between.
When you get to the bottom of it quite simply it is about perception and how you perceive yourself.
Feeling different can be a gift when nurtured or it can literally suck the life out of you.
Inner connection versus inner critic.
It can allow you to be a pioneer, independent, evolve, find your purpose and shine.
It can allow you to self-doubt, self sabotage, isolate, compare, and feel a victim.
All of us may feel different at one point or another in our life.
The good news is we have a choice.
We can all change our perception in an instant.
So which one are you choosing?
Inner connection or inner critic?